PERFORMANCES
Baby Narwhales
“The All-American Three Way”
14:29
The audience enters the room to find three girls clad in matching dresses, with ribbons in their hair. Each is under their own spotlight. As the door closes, the middle girl begins to heave, sigh and walk in circles as she jabs a knitting needle into her abdomen. As she begins to “bleed”, she paces a circle around a pile of rocks, which she then uses to inter the stuffed rabbit she has been carrying, but only after dismembering it. The other girls begin to twirl a jumprope, and the first girl starts jumping to the rhythm of a jumprope rhyme chanted by the others. They switch, and the next girl fails at jumprope. She leaves to go hack up an onion at the other end of the room. The girls left with the rope begin to scream at one another and fight over the rope. Once the fracas is over, they return to their original spots while the onion cutter approaches the rock pile and bangs her head on the rocks. She is consoled by another girl, before they tear each others dresses off. They retreat, and begin to put on high heels and lipstick while “L.O.V.E. Banana” by Joao Brasil plays. All three girls lug a huge crate of bananas to the center of the room, dump them out on the floor, and begin to get weird with the bananas. The tone of their actions teeters between sexy and aggressive. At the end of the song, each of the girls begin to gag on a banana as the lights go out.
“The All-American Three Way”
14:29
The audience enters the room to find three girls clad in matching dresses, with ribbons in their hair. Each is under their own spotlight. As the door closes, the middle girl begins to heave, sigh and walk in circles as she jabs a knitting needle into her abdomen. As she begins to “bleed”, she paces a circle around a pile of rocks, which she then uses to inter the stuffed rabbit she has been carrying, but only after dismembering it. The other girls begin to twirl a jumprope, and the first girl starts jumping to the rhythm of a jumprope rhyme chanted by the others. They switch, and the next girl fails at jumprope. She leaves to go hack up an onion at the other end of the room. The girls left with the rope begin to scream at one another and fight over the rope. Once the fracas is over, they return to their original spots while the onion cutter approaches the rock pile and bangs her head on the rocks. She is consoled by another girl, before they tear each others dresses off. They retreat, and begin to put on high heels and lipstick while “L.O.V.E. Banana” by Joao Brasil plays. All three girls lug a huge crate of bananas to the center of the room, dump them out on the floor, and begin to get weird with the bananas. The tone of their actions teeters between sexy and aggressive. At the end of the song, each of the girls begin to gag on a banana as the lights go out.

Crista Ann Ames
“The Incompetent Cervix”
4:10
A spotlight turns on in the middle of the room to signify the start of this piece. The female artist is standing next to a white pedestal over which a white nightgown is draped. The recorded sounds of her visit to a gynecologist are heard in the background, played over loudspeakers. She is wearing everyday “street” clothes; jeans, grey shirt, ordinary shoes. She begins to disrobe, taking off her clothes, followed by her socks, bra, and underwear. She then dons the white nightgown from the pedestal next to her, securing an oval-shaped wooden embroidery hoop over the fabric of the gown in the area of her abdomen. Once the hoop is in place, she picks up her needle and thread and begins to stitch a loop into the dress where her cervix would be. Once this is complete, the lights turn off and the performance is over.
“The Incompetent Cervix”
4:10
A spotlight turns on in the middle of the room to signify the start of this piece. The female artist is standing next to a white pedestal over which a white nightgown is draped. The recorded sounds of her visit to a gynecologist are heard in the background, played over loudspeakers. She is wearing everyday “street” clothes; jeans, grey shirt, ordinary shoes. She begins to disrobe, taking off her clothes, followed by her socks, bra, and underwear. She then dons the white nightgown from the pedestal next to her, securing an oval-shaped wooden embroidery hoop over the fabric of the gown in the area of her abdomen. Once the hoop is in place, she picks up her needle and thread and begins to stitch a loop into the dress where her cervix would be. Once this is complete, the lights turn off and the performance is over.
Crista Ann Ames and Beth Huhtala
“Down and Derby”
4:33
In an unlit room, roller skates can be heard. As the lights come up, two roller derby girls are seen circling the room. After several laps around, Rory Illmore skates to the middle of the room and stops under a spotlight. She announces an incident from her personal medical history. She then returns to circling the room, handing off the note card with the incident to a member of the audience. Soon after, Sassy Smashquatch enters the spotlight and announces an incident from her medical history. This process continues several times, each time with one of the two derby girls reciting a facet of her personal sexual medical history, and then handing the card off to a member of the audience. After the recitation is over, the women take another lap, then meet in the middle and grasp hands. As the lights go down, they announce both their derby names and their real names.
“Down and Derby”
4:33
In an unlit room, roller skates can be heard. As the lights come up, two roller derby girls are seen circling the room. After several laps around, Rory Illmore skates to the middle of the room and stops under a spotlight. She announces an incident from her personal medical history. She then returns to circling the room, handing off the note card with the incident to a member of the audience. Soon after, Sassy Smashquatch enters the spotlight and announces an incident from her medical history. This process continues several times, each time with one of the two derby girls reciting a facet of her personal sexual medical history, and then handing the card off to a member of the audience. After the recitation is over, the women take another lap, then meet in the middle and grasp hands. As the lights go down, they announce both their derby names and their real names.